Sunday, November 13, 2011

Unexpected Blessings

My sweet baby is trying to sleep off a nasty cold and ear infection.  Other than the nastiness showing (through lots and lots of boogies), you'd never know Reagan wasn't feeling well.  She is the happiest baby I've ever been around, not that I've been around a lot of babies, but she's really genuinely happy.  She is working so hard to pull up to standing, and succeed today against my leg... scared me a little!  She's growing so big so fast.

Recently our family got some unexpected news.  We're going to be adding a new addition a little sooner than I would have probably planned for.  With my baby learning so many new things, so quickly, it's a little hard to imagine that this time next year, I'll have two little ones in our house.  At first I was angry with myself (I was taking low dose BC, and while effective when nursing, it has to be taken at the exactly same time daily.  With a newborn, I was NOT good at remembering).  I had a mourning period over losing my exclusive relationship with my daughter.  I was going to have to be a mommy to another little one, and I was (and am) worried that she might not understand why mommy wasn't all hers.  I was also really worried about what others would say and think.  I didn't want people to say, "Oh my goodness, you were just pregnant!" or "You do know what causes this, right?" 

Now, I realize that this is truly a blessing from above. It is to be celebrated, and I'm super excited about welcoming another child into our lives! We might have never planned for another little one (don't worry, this is the last addition to the family...we're sure!).  I'm certain at first it will be very tough, and we still have a lot we haven't figured out financially especially.  One thing I'm sure of though, God wouldn't have given us this precious baby I'm carrying, if He didn't have a plan for it and for us as a family.  Reagan's best friend is on the way, what an unexpected blessing!

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Bottled Moments

While giving Reagan her bath this evening, I was drying her off with her hooded towel, and she looked up at me and grinned and giggled.  I smiled and tickled her tummy and realized that if I could bottle moments in life to later relish, that this was one such moment.
 It's been a while since I've had time to update our blog, and I am amazed constantly how my baby girl is growing.  She has 3 sparkling white teeth and three more that have poked through the surface but are not yet visible.  She can sit up unassisted, and her new favorite pastime is her version of crawling (she can get up on all fours, crawl a step and then scoot about 3 more).  She giggles, "talks," and gives us kisses.  She also bites, pulls hair, and finds the word NO hilarious.  Motherhood is never dull with my little one.

So, while I am thinking of just what type of moments I'd like to bottle up and put on a shelf for a gray day, I think of her little mostly gummy smile, her wet open mouth sloppy kisses, and being able to nurse her to sleep.  I think of how she cuddles next to her daddy and me in the wee hours of the morning, the sound of her baby giggles, her soft baby skin and fuzzy hair, and the way she holds her arms up when she wants me to pick her up.  I'm sure there will be many more sweet moments that I'd like to stay in a little longer or be able to bottle up.  For now, I'm just trying to savor every moment with my sweet baby....watching her sleep peacefully is a pretty precious moment too.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


My little baby isn't so little.  She's an adorable 4 month old!  She smiles, she coos, she giggles, she grins, she makes a car noise with her mouth, she scoots (not really crawls), and she definitely communicates even though she doesn't speak. 

I've had major anxiety about this month.  It's finally here.  In just a little under two weeks, I'll be leaving my baby with someone else. I don't like it.  However, knowing that I will be supplying my baby with my milk, has helped a little.  Giving her a little bit of mom to make it through the day, and me having to work for her a little bit during the day helps my mind set a lot.

She is very attached to me, and it makes it near impossible for me to do anything.  While it worries me a little about her starting daycare, I know it's probably what she needs to adapt to new people and new environments.  She even gives my husband a good fight when she stays with him.  Of course, deep down, I don't hate right now that she's so attached to me, but I know for her to thrive she's going to have to become more indepenent and learn to trust new people (and her daddy too!).

I just need a few prayers in the coming weeks.  I'm blessed with the privilege to work.  Yes, in this economy it is a blessing and privilege to have a job.  I don't want to leave my sweet girl, but I want to be able to provide her with all I can.  I want her to be able to get the best healthcare, I want her to have the healthiest baby food, I want her to have cool things to play with.  I also want her to know she's mommy's number one.  So, my goal is to leave work at work (at a decent time) and when I'm at home, I'm not a teacher, I'm just Reagan's mom.   Easier said than done, but I'm ready to jump in.  It's going to be just fine :)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


Ever since I was just old enough not to call myself a kid anymore, I have been fascinated with the way kids think and certainly what they say.  Teaching school and having a six year old in our house has given me lots of laughs... These are just a few things my sweet boy has and some of my students have shared.  I wish I could keep a little journal with me at all times just so I could remember all the kid-isms I hear on a daily basis. 

Brent on breastfeeding:
Dad and I both kinda have boobs.  Why can't we feed the baby?  How'd you get that milk inside you anyways?

Brent on Almond milk:
Dad, I know you say this isn't real milk, but it's healthy and it's organical.

Kindergartner on Childcare for my new baby:
So, I think you need to stay home with the baby.  Wait... who will be our teacher?  Never mind, your grandma should keep the baby.

Brent on David Feherty:
Dad, you ever play golf with him... Oh no, that's right he only plays with the masters. (he said masters with a British accent).

Kindergartner on my growing belly:
Does it hurt?  Do you feel bad?  Maybe you should put a heating pad on your belly. 
The next day...  I told my mom what I told you.  She said DO NOT do that!  You'll burn the baby!

Brent on bodily functions:
Look guys.. If you eat you poop, if you drink you pee.

Kindergartner on labor and delivery:
I really don't want the baby to hurt you.  You'll be okay, won't you?  When it's over I'm bringing you some ice cream.  If something happens and I can't, your husband should get you some.

I hope to add to these from time to time... I certainly can't remember them all and right now.  Plus, I have a sweet, hungry baby to take care of :)

Sunday, June 26, 2011

I'm So Sorry...

Within the past few months, I've had 2 friends suffer miscarriages.  I look at my sweet little baby girl, and I often feel that I'm being insensitive by sharing about my baby... a little guilty.  I think back to the early weeks of my pregnancy when we had a very serious scare that sent me to the ER for several hours and at my doctor's office for 3 appointments the following week.  Then, still, it was wait and see for the next month... 

I found out I was pregnant late July...very early.  I was 4 weeks along (2 from the whole time of conception... it's so strange how they time stamp these things).  I was ecstatic!  We had been trying for a couple of months, so to look down and see those two lines was a little surreal.  It was finally the result I'd been waiting for.  My husband and I decided to wait and tell our happy news until we were sure things were okay.  Of course, I shared with my two closest friends and my sister (I was ecstatic, remember), but I didn't even want to tell my parents yet (as much as I love them, they are horrible secret keepers). 

August 1...  I started having some really bad pains in my stomach and then the bleeding started.  I remember my throat felt like it was closing up.  I looked at David with teary eyes and asked him what to do.  It was a Sunday, so I called the on call midwife at my doctor's office and she met us at the hospital.  They did an ultrasound and some other blood tests, but didn't offer me any comfort.  They said it could be an ectopic pregnancy (meaning I was pregnant, but not in the right place, and they'd have to terminate the pregnancy because I nor the fetus could survive), early signs of a miscarriage, or a subchorionic hemorrhage (SCH- a bleed where the baby implanted itself... which they told me could have varied outcomes).  I was told to take it easy and we'd wait and see.

During the week of more testing, I broke down and told my mom and dad.  I needed my mommy!  She went to the doctor's office for all the blood work with me and she was the first person who saw my baby's heartbeat (on ultrasound).  We concluded that I had a SCH and that it was small enough it should heal on its own. 

But wasn't until my 8 week check up that I was assured things would be okay, we had seen the heartbeat via ultrasound and heard it via doppler,..We had a BABY! :)  The SCH had pretty much healed, and I was on my way to a completely normal pregnancy (until the end with all that BP mess!).  I still didn't want to share my pregnancy news with anyone until well after the 12 week mark, but after my parents knew, the secret was pretty much out.  I waited until our 19 week appointment when David and I saw our little GIRL on the 3-d ultrasound to share the news with the entire world (aka Facebook). 

Now looking back, those few weeks, as stressful as they were, were just another thing to prepare me for motherhood.  They also showed me how precious the gift of life is, and to truly be thankful for this miracle.  However, for my friends who now have heavy hearts from their "what might of been.." I can't say I understand...  I have my sweet little girl, but I know a fragment of the fear they faced and I can't imagine the burden laid on their hearts.  It's easy for people who haven't been there to say "it's God's plan" or for doctors to say "this is natures way of dealing with an unhealthy pregnancy" but it's not their bodies.  I don't doubt that either of these things are true, but it's still so much easier for someone else to say, because they are not having to deal with it.  For each woman even, I think the loss, the emotions it brings, its magnitude is different.  I am sure both of my friends will make awesome mothers one day.  I'm sure they will be blessed with a beautiful family.   But I realize that I can't feel what is going on in their shoes, and truthfully the best words I can offer them are "I'm so sorry," and "I'm praying for you." 

Friday, June 24, 2011


I've never been quite so infatuated with anything or anyone as I am with my baby's smile.  I love this little person so much, and when she returns my sentiments with her big, broad, toothless smile, I melt.  I have a feeling the word "no" isn't going to be easy for us to say in our household.

My husband is growing more and more fond of our little one too.  Not that he wasn't before, but I won't lie, Reagan hasn't been exactly an easy baby.  Unlike her brother, who must have been just a cake walk, Reagan is a needy little thing, and she lets you know (quite vocally) when she's unhappy.  However, these days, all the princess wants is someone to socialize with.  She wants to see your face and be able to grab you!  She loves her gym and can play in it quite a while.  She's growing up so much and I am enjoying my time with her more and more...and am a little nauseous thinking about leaving her!

What a blessing this little poop machine has been in our house.  It's amazing to see the love my husband and I have for each other to come to life in a little person...  absolutely amazing!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Playdates & Date Nights

We've been a little more adventurous lately.  After our trip to school, I felt more capable of taking my sweet girl out. I don't like to have her out too much, because she does seem to get easily exhausted and cranky.  I think I have a little homebody on my hands.  Her big brother is very much one too. 

Friday, we loaded up and went to visit my college roommate, Heather, who recently had a baby boy.  I felt completely comfortable going to her house, because I knew she had all the baby items that we'd need without me packing the entire house.  It was so nice for mommy to have adult conversation during the day!  It is funny how much you miss that.  Heather is such a fabulous mommy and it was good to share the fears and mishaps of being a new mother with someone else. Even though we don't live together anymore and don't talk on a daily basis, we are still a lot alike.  We decided we must be sistas from different mistas :)

Saturday, my sister came up and we went out and bought Daddy's Father's Day gift.  We went to Dick's, Golf Galaxy, got lunch at a Mexican restaurant, and the Babies 'R Us.  It was a huge outing for the baby and mommy.  She's been a little extra fussy today.  I'm not sure it is in correlation to our big day yesterday or it is just a fussy day.  I, however, needed a shopping day and it was fun having time with my sister.

Since Auntie was here, David and I took advantage of our in house sitter, and we went to dinner last night.  I tried very hard to stay away from poopie diaper and spit up conversations.  It was so nice to put on a dress, a real non-nursing bra, make up and wear my hair down!  Since I won't indulge while nursing (and I would really love just one glass of wine!), I had a huge piece of key lime pie.  Mommy certainly had deserved it.  I even resisted calling my sister and checking in.  We weren't gone too long, but it was just enough time to enjoy being a wife.  You have to remember that balance between wife and mother or you'll go nuts!

Reagan loves her auntie.  She slept a full 5 hours last night before waking up for her late night feeding.  And was so sweet when I got her up.  I am an incredibly blessed woman.  I often have to take a step back because it seems like all this happened kind of fast.  I met Reagan's daddy a little over 3 years ago.  A year after that he proposed.  We got married just 4 months after we got engaged.   A week before our first anniversary we found out we were expecting.  It's kind of a blur, but what an amazing, beautiful, fabulous life we have :-)

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Reagan Goes to Kindergarten

I've been really protective of my princess. We don't venture out too often.  At the advice of her doctor, I avoided crowds whenever possible (with the exception of a larger family event I was kinda tricked into attending, my sister's graduation, and Brent's end of year school program), until after her 2 month well baby check up.  I read all the baby advice, and other than tummy time (which I still give Reagan, just not as often as I should---with her reflux she ends up spitting up whenever laid on her tummy!), I do what I'm supposed to.  Today I was brave though, I decided it was time for my school babies to meet my new baby.

I have never seen my little kinder-babies so excited!  They all told me individually either "I'm SIX!" or "I'm about to turn SIX!"  They wanted me to see how they had grown.  They wanted to know about the baby, but more they wanted to talk about them :)  I love kids this age because they have such distinctive personalities, but they haven't been tainted yet.  They're eager to take it all in.

I told them about how Reagan was born the first day I missed school with them.  We talked about how she needed lots of things.  They wanted to know where my belly went, why my hair was longer, if I was coming back to teach them, who was going to watch the baby, if she wore the clothes they gave her, if I used their blankets/soap/etc.  One little girl asked me if I had been traveling.  When I told her no, she said she thought I had because my hair was so much longer (yeah, I didn't know you had to travel for your hair to grow either!).  She also told me  I should cut it again!  One little boy talked about how much he loved Reagan's polka dotted diaper and if I remembered seeing him in the Target (I do... it was November!).  I'm going to miss those little rascals next year!

Reagan met my kindergarten co-workers and some of the office ladies.  She was SO good.  Of course, it was her "sleepy" time and she was drowsy or sleeping most of our visit.  I'm so proud of my baby girl.  I know that will only continue as she grows bigger.  She's such a great mix of her daddy and me--even now in the little personality she is developing.  She loves "talking" and I eat up every coo.  Sadly for her kindergarten teacher, she'll be a talker I'm certain.  She has a mama who talks way too much and a daddy that talks even more!

I was a little sad leaving my little kinders.  They'll be first graders next time I see them.  They were so much fun this year, and I've learned more from them than I think they learned from me.  I loved my kindergarten experience this year, and I am happy I've found a home both at my school and in my grade level.  As much as I dread taking my little one to daycare and returning to work, I love my job.  Part of me is excited about getting back in the classroom and getting my family into a real routine.  Reagan needs to adapt to change and hopefully daycare will teach her just that.  I'm confident we've found a strong daycare and that the teachers there will provide and nurture my sweet baby.  If not, then I'd have even more anxiety about my return to the classroom.  Luckily for me and Miss Reagan,  I still have 2 more months off not to worry about any of it!

Monday, June 6, 2011

Eat, Sleep, Poop... and shots!

It's funny all the things you worry about as a new mom.  I have never been so interested in poop before.  What color is it?  What is its consistency?  Does it smell different?  I became so obsessed that I'd freak out if anyone else changed her diaper without letting me see it!  Luckily, I'm a little less crazy now that my 2 month old does a little, a tiny bit more, than eating, sleeping and pooping.

My mom and I took Reagan in for her 2 month check up today, which included my sweet girl's first set of shots (she got one in the hospital, but they took her to the nursery so I didn't have to witness it).  Reagan was a huge 12 lbs. 12 oz.  Her weight gain is very typical for an exclusively breastfed infant, and because she's been such a good eater, her doctor told me I can start trying to get her on a schedule.  Her exact words, "You're not the K & W;  she doesn't have to eat all the time"  So hopefully, we can start that soon.   Today, however, is not the day.  She was a champ getting her shots, but she has wanted to nurse a lot since we got home.  I think it's more for comfort than nourishment.  I'm okay with that.  If I can give her some source of comfort, then why wouldn't I?

Reagan has the cutest personality.  She certainly loves her mama and wants to know where I'm at most of the time.  She gives us the sweetest smiles and is a very social baby.  She also loves to watch us eat!  Tammy, Reagan's doctor, told me I may want to bring her in next month, and we might talk about starting cereal early because she is such a good eater.  Her hands are her latest discovery and she likes to clasp them together and wiggle her fingers.  She has the chubbiest little legs (which probably made the pain of the shots a little more bearable today!), and she can often be found kicking them around. I can't wait to see her grow even more (just not too fast!).  I love her little facial expressions and coos...  She's waking up now and seems to be in cheerful spirits...and filling up a diaper!  That's a job for Mommy! :)

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Reagan's Arrival

Watching my sleeping baby is one of my favorite passtimes of late.  She is so precious (what mother wouldn't say that about her little one!).  While baby is resting and it is still relatively fresh, I thought I'd share my childbirth experience. 

About 3 weeks prior to Reagan's arrival, I was having some blood pressure issues.  Each week my doctor's office would end up sending me to maternity admissions for monitoring with the intent of inducing if my BP didn't drop.  Each time, it would go down to normal levels and send me home.  After the second visit, I was encouraged to start my maternity leave early (I could work 1 more week), and be on modified bedrest until the baby's arrival.  So, my last day of work was Friday, March 25.  That Friday I had to go into the office for a stress test and another BP check.  Again, my BP was too high, so again off to maternity admissions I went.  My BP went back to normal range, but there was some discrepancies in my blood work and they were worried I was developing preeclampsia.  They sent me home with a giant bottle to collect pee-pee samples for twenty-four hours and I had to return it to the hospital on Sunday.... That made for a fun weekend!

On Sunday, we took my stepson back to his mom's, and then jug-o-urine in hand, my husband and I (we were on a first name basis with the ladies at maternity admissions) returned to the hospital.  They checked my BP, and it was still high.  I spoke with the doctor on call, and she told us that regardless of the urine results, they would induce sometime in the next week.  We had our hospital bags; we kinda had the feeling this was coming, but induction scared me.  I wasn't dilated and showed no signs of going into labor on my own...which ended up helping me make my decision.  I knew that whether it was today or 5 days from now, it was probably going to be this way.  Plus, my doctor was on call the next day. He'd be there to deliver my baby girl!

We got checked in and settled.  It was about shift changes with the nurses... THANK THE GOOD HEAVENS!  I don't know if it was pregnancy hormones running rampant, the first nurse we had was awful.  She kept giggling that I wasn't even dilated and informed me it would probably be a very long time before my baby arrived.  David brought my "last supper" from Village Tavern, and I was glad she left and I could enjoy my meal without someone reminding me of the marathon called labor I was about to run.  They began some medicine to help prepare my body for the pitocin that they'd start in the morning.  It was a near sleepless night (for me...David was snoring loud!).  I was uncomfortable and experiencing mild contractions. 

The next morning, an angel arrived (not the baby yet!).  Kristi, our nurse, was absolutely fabulous.  She talked to me about what to expect as they started the pitocin.  Contractions got a lot more distinctive at this point.  Kristi said that Dr. Stringer would be in soon and that he'd probably break my water to speed things along.  At 10:30, he came in and did just that...  and that's when the contractions really started to hurt!!  They were really close together (maybe about 1-3 minutes apart), and I was only 2 cm.  I knew there was no way I was going to be able to make it to 10 on my own.  David was the one who spoke up though.  After the epidural, labor was a much more pleasant experience.  I could tell I was having a contraction, but it wasn't painful.  It was like a great glass of Merlot. Finally I was able to relax!  On the urging of our nurse, I closed my eyes and took a rest.

At around 2:00, Kristi came in to check my progress.  To all of our surprise, I was at 9.5 cm...  It was time to push!  For 2 long hours, I pushed and pushed fighting heartburn and nausea the entire time.  Dr. Stringer came in and encouraged me along, but we finally decided that I was going to need a little help.  They used the vacuum to pull little 7lbs 10oz Reagan into the world at 4:34 pm.  

March 28, 2011 was the best day of my life.  It was a snowy spring day to some.  It was just another Monday for others.  But for me and my little family, it was the day that we welcomed our own little miracle into the world!  We love our Reagan!

I'm New at This... more ways than one.  I have never blogged before, but I thought it'd be a fun way to chronicle my sweet baby's growth and my journey in mommy-hood.  Little Reagan is 2 months old now, and even though it's been just a few weeks since she entered our lives, I cannot imagine life without this amazing little person.  You prepare for 9 months for this amazing thing to happen, and when it does, it is surely nothing less than a miracle. 

From breastfeeding to our first sniffles, being a mommy has proved to be a very difficult job!  I know it won't get easier as my princess grows (and I have to return to work in the fall), but it will certainly be rewarding.  My baby can't talk, but she communicates with us all the time.  Just now, she was getting sleepy as I was nursing her.  She looked up with heavy eyes, and smiled at me... a big toothless smile half obstructed by, well, I'm sure you can figure that part out.  It's her way of saying, "Thanks Mom!  Nighty night for the next 2 or 3 hours!" :)  On that note, I'm going to try to get a little bit of rest before my little eating machine decides it's time to get up again!