Thursday, April 12, 2012

Pregnancy Hormones!

I know I've talked a little about all the minor complications that my pregnancy with Reagan held.  The beginning was rough, the morning sickness lasted all day long forever, and the swelling and high blood pressure ended it.  It was not a fun ride at all. 

This pregnancy has be MUCH more pleasant.  I guess the Lord knew I couldn't chase around a growing baby/toddler and have a complicated pregnancy.  I never got morning sickness, so far, at 36 weeks, I haven't had any swelling, and I feel great other than the crowding around my lungs that are causing me a little trouble catching my breath.  My "baseball" belly as Reagan's daycare teacher is much more akin to a basketball, but for the most part, all my weight gain has been belly.  Someone asked me yesterday if I ate because I just didn't look big enough to be ready to deliver a baby, I eat, but I don't pig out... So I'm not that waddling pregnant lady who looks like she's have quints and delivers a 6 pound baby.  I am, however, waddling :)

Yet, I am much more emotional with baby number two.  EVERYTHING gets me.  I can't listen to the radio, watch TV, see a daddy and his little girl in the grocery store without getting all teary.  I heard "It Won't Be Like This for Long" this morning and I had to sit in my car and compose myself before I could go into work.  I watched a special on bipolar children on Discovery Health and I had to spend longer than I actually watched the show praying for those children and my own.  And yesterday in the grocery store I saw this little girl of about 3 shopping with her dad.  She was pushing one of the little carts and she looked up at her dad and said, "But daddy we aren't holding hands!  Why aren't we holding hands?"  He smiled at her and said because she had to push her cart.  It was the sweetest thing... I can just see Reagan shopping with her daddy the same way.  I can't even imagine how my love will grow as I share it with two.

Our house is going to be full of lots of fun girl hormones as the little ones grow, but it's also going to be filled with laughter, fingernail polish, daddy dates to the grocery store, hair bows, and good times I'm sure.  I hope one day I can share with my little girls all the love we've had for them since before they were here.   Despite the heartburn, the nausea,  the fear that each cough will cause you to pee your pants, and the hormones!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012


I have had a lot of trouble getting motivated today.  I have had 3 days off this week for Spring Break (I am going in tomorrow and Friday for teacher workdays to prepare to be out for the remainder of the year when this baby arrives), and today is the only day that I've had no plans.  I let David and Brent take Reagan to daycare this morning, so for the first time in a year, I'm home alone.  While I miss my baby girl, I think I probably needed a break today.  I feel a little guilty for saying that, but I think it's probably important for my health (mental and physical--especially right now) that I take a little time just to breathe.

I need to be working on laundry and the nursery and take a trip to the grocery store.  Instead, I used a Shutterfly gift card and made Reagan's 1 year album and took a shower.  A LONG shower without hearing Reagan whining from her high chair outside the bathroom door, as I do most mornings, or hearing her yelling over the monitor to come get her out of her crib.  Again, I miss my girl, but who knew an uninterrupted shower would feel like a luxury!?

Today marks 36 weeks with baby girl number 2.  I'm getting so excited about meeting our newest little one.  I can't wait to raise my little girls.  I realized probably when Reagan was just a few days old, that being a mother is my most important work in life.  God has blessed me with a wonderful career and a faith that is strong.  He has also shown me that my work begins here at home.  I can't put other things (work, people, "stuff") before my children, and that realization is something I'm very grateful for.  In my own life I've seen so many children feel and left neglected, some that others would never notice that were being over looked, and I look at my blue eyed baby and my protruding belly and promise my girls that they won't be those children.

I'm pretty nervous about the responsibilities that two babies will bring, but I've been overwhelmed and nervous before with life events, and I've never been given anything I can't handle.  Yesterday, I was driving past my church and on one side of the sign it read, "God doesn't make mistakes," and on the other it read, "God provides for needs not wants." As I drove, I thought about the little kicker in my tummy.  I think she was a needed addition to our family.  A playmate for her sister, another companion for Brent, a little person to teach her mommy and daddy even more about true love.  While the timing certainly wasn't my own, I am sure it was in the plan.  As I worry about how we will provide for our family, I know that we may not have everything we want materially, but our needs will be met.  What we need more than anything is to grow our family in love. 

I think I may have found my motivation!