Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Ramblings of an overworked, overtired mommy

I'm a firm believer in no one can understand what you are going through unless they've done it.  I'm not quick to make parallels or make assumptions between my life and anyone else's, but gosh darn it I am so darn tired.  I think I probably do more than most Americans do in a day before 7.  Let me just say this is all about me.  I'm not adding in what anyone else does in my household, because I cannot make assumptions about their lives and schedules.  Especially the girls, all Reagan talks about is Minnie Mouse and Elmo and last time I checked they weren't doing the laundry.

So I cosleep with my child who uses me as a pacifier.  I know she does it, maybe I should let her cry it out.  I work all day.  I'm away from my own children ALL day.  If I want that snuggle time, guess what, it's mine!  So, I get, on a great night about 5 hours sleep.  That's my own doing, but this is my last baby.  I'm not going to breastfeed her until she's 11.  This is a temporary time.

We get up for the day a little before 6.  Everyone showers or takes baths the night before.  I feed Anna, make sure her bottles are labeled and packed, pack my pump for work, and pack Reagan's bag for daycare.  I dress and dress Anna while Reagan eats breakfast that David usually fixes for her.  I dress Reagan and pack the car, including all five point harnesses of two carseats.  I'm on the road no later than five after 7.

Drop the girls off by 7:30, this is putting Anna's bottles and baby food up, filling out instructions for the day for two girls, and hugs and kisses.  Off to run into work right on time by 7:45.  I spend all day with 5 year olds that are not as sweet or as respectful as I was at five.  I try to teach them manners and math, reading and writing and love.  It's exhausting.

I work til around four and then rush back to pick up the princesses.  They are cranky.  Whine whine whine all the way home.  I nurse Anna, cook dinner, while its cooking I wash bottles and then color with Reagan while we watch Baby Signing Time or Nick Jr.  If its a Tuesday or Wednesday David brings Brent home around 6:15.  We eat, do baths, and hang out and are all in bed by 9.  Other nights, it may just be me and the girls until well after 7.  I pretty much follow the same routine regardless.

All this. Five days.  One wore out mommy.  I'm not asking for sympathy or pats on the back.  I just one day want to be able to remember that I was able to accomplish quite a lot in a little time.  I would not change anything about my babies, even the space between them.  Anna is awaking from her afternoon carseat nap.  Going to cuddle with her and enjoy her being little.

A man works from sun up to sun down, but a woman's work is never done.  My grandmother said this  many times.  I understand now what she meant.