Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Motivation

I have had a lot of trouble getting motivated today.  I have had 3 days off this week for Spring Break (I am going in tomorrow and Friday for teacher workdays to prepare to be out for the remainder of the year when this baby arrives), and today is the only day that I've had no plans.  I let David and Brent take Reagan to daycare this morning, so for the first time in a year, I'm home alone.  While I miss my baby girl, I think I probably needed a break today.  I feel a little guilty for saying that, but I think it's probably important for my health (mental and physical--especially right now) that I take a little time just to breathe.

I need to be working on laundry and the nursery and take a trip to the grocery store.  Instead, I used a Shutterfly gift card and made Reagan's 1 year album and took a shower.  A LONG shower without hearing Reagan whining from her high chair outside the bathroom door, as I do most mornings, or hearing her yelling over the monitor to come get her out of her crib.  Again, I miss my girl, but who knew an uninterrupted shower would feel like a luxury!?

Today marks 36 weeks with baby girl number 2.  I'm getting so excited about meeting our newest little one.  I can't wait to raise my little girls.  I realized probably when Reagan was just a few days old, that being a mother is my most important work in life.  God has blessed me with a wonderful career and a faith that is strong.  He has also shown me that my work begins here at home.  I can't put other things (work, people, "stuff") before my children, and that realization is something I'm very grateful for.  In my own life I've seen so many children feel and left neglected, some that others would never notice that were being over looked, and I look at my blue eyed baby and my protruding belly and promise my girls that they won't be those children.

I'm pretty nervous about the responsibilities that two babies will bring, but I've been overwhelmed and nervous before with life events, and I've never been given anything I can't handle.  Yesterday, I was driving past my church and on one side of the sign it read, "God doesn't make mistakes," and on the other it read, "God provides for needs not wants." As I drove, I thought about the little kicker in my tummy.  I think she was a needed addition to our family.  A playmate for her sister, another companion for Brent, a little person to teach her mommy and daddy even more about true love.  While the timing certainly wasn't my own, I am sure it was in the plan.  As I worry about how we will provide for our family, I know that we may not have everything we want materially, but our needs will be met.  What we need more than anything is to grow our family in love. 

I think I may have found my motivation!

2 comments:

  1. Very well said! I felt guilty for taking my boys to daycare yesterday and then chilling at the house after an appointment, but I felt more refreshed when I picked them up. I've been discovering the same things as you concerning wants and needs. God is truly amazing! Best luck to you in the coming weeks!

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    1. Thank you! I hope these next few weeks go by as quickly and easily as the rest of this pregnancy has :) Our families are such precious blessings!

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