Type A...Type B...Please.

If I were assessing my younger self, I would have probably declared my Type A personality without actually having to declare it.  I was kinda full of myself.  Used to being the center of attention in my own family, used to being one of the handful of "smartest" children in my class, and used to having more than enough words to dominate almost any conversation.  Having Reagan, didn't change that.  I worried about  and planned every single detail of her life week by week.  When I found out I was pregnant with her sister when she was almost 24 weeks old (six months...remember, I worried WEEK BY WEEK), I freaked out to say the least.  It wasn't that I didn't want another baby, because I wanted another baby more than anything, I just didn't want another baby when my baby was still a baby.

So, after Anna was born, my aggressive personality, to put it nicely, took a backseat to parenting.  I realized very quickly, that the cute smocked outfits were just going to get yellow poop all up the back, so why not just dress the kid in a cheap cotton Target onesie with some cute saying like "My mom doesn't want your advice.." because really, she did not want or need it.  Always eager to please, but to sway folks to seeing my way, I quickly learned that my way of life wasn't for everyone.  I wasn't going to force breastfeeding and cosleeping on my new mother peers, though I couldn't imagine doing this mommy-hood gig any other way.  Other mommies didn't want or need my advice either!

My former self had a pet peeve about promptness.  My current self is happy to get anywhere within an hour of the scheduled time.  I'm almost disgusted by this fact still, but we really cannot help it.  Have you ever tried to get two small {girl} children ready?  I have one that changes clothes like the weather.  Seriously.  I'll have her ready, and I'll go to check on her sister and come back and find her completely naked.  It's a losing battle.

I still make calendars and create schedules, but if we don't follow them...Eh, it's okay.  As long as no one is crying, fighting nap time, or biting each other, I really could care less if we visited the Historical Museum, attended the concert in the park, or watched the magic show at the library.  No use crying over the best laid plans that don't happen. 

Truthfully this switch has probably made me a better person all the way around.  I'm completely happy in my own skin, even if I'm not as blonde, thin or tan as I once was.  I'm way more content these days than I ever was when I was trying to be perfect all the time.  I still have a strong desire to pursue fairness and do what's best.  That's awesome in my classroom. But also, understanding that going with the flow is a necessity, and being able to adapt to most any situation without becoming too bummed out, has proven to be even more helpful.  

I wouldn't say my type A self is gone, and I wouldn't say I'm totally a type B either.  I'm just a happy in-between.  I don't forsee me ever going back to being as quite extreme as I used to be, but I'm not going to throw out my summer calendar ever.  I'm so grateful for my girls for a billion reasons and the least of those is help change me into a person that's a little sweeter, and little more relaxed and way more fun!

Before the Madness

Embracing the Chaos