These are MY kids too

As the school year comes to a close, I realized how sad I am for the year to end.  Year eight almost in the books, and though I'm spread thinner (I'm not thinner though...), I still feel that same attachment and love I did for my first group of students.  I've changed schools, more than once; I've changed grade levels, more than once, but one thing remains the same: I absolutely have the best job ever.  Sure, I have bad days.  I've had a desk thrown at me, hateful e-mails in my inbox, ridiculous evaluations that knit-picked the fact that I was a pumping mother over the fact "the content was covered very well." Those days I went home and cried, but luckily I have had way more good days inside the four walls of my classroom than bad.

Today I went home and cried for a completely different reason.  At dismissal today, my last bus rider was waiting for her bus to be called, like all nearly 180 days this year, but this day was different.  She happily told me earlier this week with a flip of her blonde hair that she wouldn't be attending the last day of school.  This day was her last day of fourth grade.  She stood in the door frame looking much more grown up than she did in August and looking at her sweet face, I saw her eyes swell up with tears. I hugged her and tried not to cry too.  She just smiled stared at our class picture hanging by the door.  We joked about the silly smiles on the friends' faces in the class. She laughed and cried more.  Her bus was announced, I gave her another big hug, gave her that class picture and told her to have a great summer. These 28 kids that sat in room 318 this year will no longer be a class after tomorrow.  They will move up to fifth and be combined into different homerooms.  The kids will have the same friends and see familiar faces when they return in the fall, but it won't be quite the same.

I had the kids make memory wheels and complete fourth grade surveys to share with next year's class.  I'll put them on display in the hallway at Open House.  When I read the kids' work, I noticed a lot of the kids filled in the My teacher really loves... blank with her kids.  I do tell tons of stories about Brent, Reagan and Anna, I swear some of them are content related, and I guess my students really take away that I love being a mommy.  But from August to June, I spend a whole lot of time with other people's kids.  I spend time away from those children, worrying about them.  Sometimes it's "will they ever understand how to do long division?" Sometimes it's "this friend was really worried about a home situation, I pray they are okay and it resolves soon..."

The other day in the midst of a speech about caring for others, this time of year kids have short tempers with each other, I went around the room sharing things I've learned about the kids this year.  Little things from the name of their little league team, that their family fosters pets from the animal shelter, that they love fishing with their grandpa, they have a collection of rocks.... You get the idea.  They were amazed that I remembered little details of things they had mentioned all year.  I am always amazed that they remember my silly stories about my kids too.  We, our class, invested so much time in each other, together this year.  We're like a big family. It really is hard to see that fun time end.

No matter how many years I teach, no matter how many kids I get to raise in my own home, those children that fill my classroom each year become mine too. As I go to work tomorrow, I'm sure I'll feel a bit of the same way my little friend did in the doorway this afternoon.  As excited as I have been about summer break, I'm not excited about the good bye that awaits tomorrow at 2:50. These are my kids too.