My sweet baby is trying to sleep off a nasty cold and ear infection. Other than the nastiness showing (through lots and lots of boogies), you'd never know Reagan wasn't feeling well. She is the happiest baby I've ever been around, not that I've been around a lot of babies, but she's really genuinely happy. She is working so hard to pull up to standing, and succeed today against my leg... scared me a little! She's growing so big so fast.
Recently our family got some unexpected news. We're going to be adding a new addition a little sooner than I would have probably planned for. With my baby learning so many new things, so quickly, it's a little hard to imagine that this time next year, I'll have two little ones in our house. At first I was angry with myself (I was taking low dose BC, and while effective when nursing, it has to be taken at the exactly same time daily. With a newborn, I was NOT good at remembering). I had a mourning period over losing my exclusive relationship with my daughter. I was going to have to be a mommy to another little one, and I was (and am) worried that she might not understand why mommy wasn't all hers. I was also really worried about what others would say and think. I didn't want people to say, "Oh my goodness, you were just pregnant!" or "You do know what causes this, right?"
Now, I realize that this is truly a blessing from above. It is to be celebrated, and I'm super excited about welcoming another child into our lives! We might have never planned for another little one (don't worry, this is the last addition to the family...we're sure!). I'm certain at first it will be very tough, and we still have a lot we haven't figured out financially especially. One thing I'm sure of though, God wouldn't have given us this precious baby I'm carrying, if He didn't have a plan for it and for us as a family. Reagan's best friend is on the way, what an unexpected blessing!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Bottled Moments
While giving Reagan her bath this evening, I was drying her off with her hooded towel, and she looked up at me and grinned and giggled. I smiled and tickled her tummy and realized that if I could bottle moments in life to later relish, that this was one such moment.
It's been a while since I've had time to update our blog, and I am amazed constantly how my baby girl is growing. She has 3 sparkling white teeth and three more that have poked through the surface but are not yet visible. She can sit up unassisted, and her new favorite pastime is her version of crawling (she can get up on all fours, crawl a step and then scoot about 3 more). She giggles, "talks," and gives us kisses. She also bites, pulls hair, and finds the word NO hilarious. Motherhood is never dull with my little one.
So, while I am thinking of just what type of moments I'd like to bottle up and put on a shelf for a gray day, I think of her little mostly gummy smile, her wet open mouth sloppy kisses, and being able to nurse her to sleep. I think of how she cuddles next to her daddy and me in the wee hours of the morning, the sound of her baby giggles, her soft baby skin and fuzzy hair, and the way she holds her arms up when she wants me to pick her up. I'm sure there will be many more sweet moments that I'd like to stay in a little longer or be able to bottle up. For now, I'm just trying to savor every moment with my sweet baby....watching her sleep peacefully is a pretty precious moment too.
It's been a while since I've had time to update our blog, and I am amazed constantly how my baby girl is growing. She has 3 sparkling white teeth and three more that have poked through the surface but are not yet visible. She can sit up unassisted, and her new favorite pastime is her version of crawling (she can get up on all fours, crawl a step and then scoot about 3 more). She giggles, "talks," and gives us kisses. She also bites, pulls hair, and finds the word NO hilarious. Motherhood is never dull with my little one.
So, while I am thinking of just what type of moments I'd like to bottle up and put on a shelf for a gray day, I think of her little mostly gummy smile, her wet open mouth sloppy kisses, and being able to nurse her to sleep. I think of how she cuddles next to her daddy and me in the wee hours of the morning, the sound of her baby giggles, her soft baby skin and fuzzy hair, and the way she holds her arms up when she wants me to pick her up. I'm sure there will be many more sweet moments that I'd like to stay in a little longer or be able to bottle up. For now, I'm just trying to savor every moment with my sweet baby....watching her sleep peacefully is a pretty precious moment too.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
August...
My little baby isn't so little. She's an adorable 4 month old! She smiles, she coos, she giggles, she grins, she makes a car noise with her mouth, she scoots (not really crawls), and she definitely communicates even though she doesn't speak.
I've had major anxiety about this month. It's finally here. In just a little under two weeks, I'll be leaving my baby with someone else. I don't like it. However, knowing that I will be supplying my baby with my milk, has helped a little. Giving her a little bit of mom to make it through the day, and me having to work for her a little bit during the day helps my mind set a lot.
She is very attached to me, and it makes it near impossible for me to do anything. While it worries me a little about her starting daycare, I know it's probably what she needs to adapt to new people and new environments. She even gives my husband a good fight when she stays with him. Of course, deep down, I don't hate right now that she's so attached to me, but I know for her to thrive she's going to have to become more indepenent and learn to trust new people (and her daddy too!).
I just need a few prayers in the coming weeks. I'm blessed with the privilege to work. Yes, in this economy it is a blessing and privilege to have a job. I don't want to leave my sweet girl, but I want to be able to provide her with all I can. I want her to be able to get the best healthcare, I want her to have the healthiest baby food, I want her to have cool things to play with. I also want her to know she's mommy's number one. So, my goal is to leave work at work (at a decent time) and when I'm at home, I'm not a teacher, I'm just Reagan's mom. Easier said than done, but I'm ready to jump in. It's going to be just fine :)
I've had major anxiety about this month. It's finally here. In just a little under two weeks, I'll be leaving my baby with someone else. I don't like it. However, knowing that I will be supplying my baby with my milk, has helped a little. Giving her a little bit of mom to make it through the day, and me having to work for her a little bit during the day helps my mind set a lot.
She is very attached to me, and it makes it near impossible for me to do anything. While it worries me a little about her starting daycare, I know it's probably what she needs to adapt to new people and new environments. She even gives my husband a good fight when she stays with him. Of course, deep down, I don't hate right now that she's so attached to me, but I know for her to thrive she's going to have to become more indepenent and learn to trust new people (and her daddy too!).
I just need a few prayers in the coming weeks. I'm blessed with the privilege to work. Yes, in this economy it is a blessing and privilege to have a job. I don't want to leave my sweet girl, but I want to be able to provide her with all I can. I want her to be able to get the best healthcare, I want her to have the healthiest baby food, I want her to have cool things to play with. I also want her to know she's mommy's number one. So, my goal is to leave work at work (at a decent time) and when I'm at home, I'm not a teacher, I'm just Reagan's mom. Easier said than done, but I'm ready to jump in. It's going to be just fine :)
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Brent-isms
Ever since I was just old enough not to call myself a kid anymore, I have been fascinated with the way kids think and certainly what they say. Teaching school and having a six year old in our house has given me lots of laughs... These are just a few things my sweet boy has and some of my students have shared. I wish I could keep a little journal with me at all times just so I could remember all the kid-isms I hear on a daily basis.
Brent on breastfeeding:
Dad and I both kinda have boobs. Why can't we feed the baby? How'd you get that milk inside you anyways?
Brent on Almond milk:
Dad, I know you say this isn't real milk, but it's healthy and it's organical.
Kindergartner on Childcare for my new baby:
So, I think you need to stay home with the baby. Wait... who will be our teacher? Never mind, your grandma should keep the baby.
Brent on David Feherty:
Dad, you ever play golf with him... Oh no, that's right he only plays with the masters. (he said masters with a British accent).
Kindergartner on my growing belly:
Does it hurt? Do you feel bad? Maybe you should put a heating pad on your belly.
The next day... I told my mom what I told you. She said DO NOT do that! You'll burn the baby!
Brent on bodily functions:
Look guys.. If you eat you poop, if you drink you pee.
Kindergartner on labor and delivery:
I really don't want the baby to hurt you. You'll be okay, won't you? When it's over I'm bringing you some ice cream. If something happens and I can't, your husband should get you some.
I hope to add to these from time to time... I certainly can't remember them all and right now. Plus, I have a sweet, hungry baby to take care of :)
Brent on breastfeeding:
Dad and I both kinda have boobs. Why can't we feed the baby? How'd you get that milk inside you anyways?
Brent on Almond milk:
Dad, I know you say this isn't real milk, but it's healthy and it's organical.
Kindergartner on Childcare for my new baby:
So, I think you need to stay home with the baby. Wait... who will be our teacher? Never mind, your grandma should keep the baby.
Brent on David Feherty:
Dad, you ever play golf with him... Oh no, that's right he only plays with the masters. (he said masters with a British accent).
Kindergartner on my growing belly:
Does it hurt? Do you feel bad? Maybe you should put a heating pad on your belly.
The next day... I told my mom what I told you. She said DO NOT do that! You'll burn the baby!
Brent on bodily functions:
Look guys.. If you eat you poop, if you drink you pee.
Kindergartner on labor and delivery:
I really don't want the baby to hurt you. You'll be okay, won't you? When it's over I'm bringing you some ice cream. If something happens and I can't, your husband should get you some.
I hope to add to these from time to time... I certainly can't remember them all and right now. Plus, I have a sweet, hungry baby to take care of :)
Sunday, June 26, 2011
I'm So Sorry...
Within the past few months, I've had 2 friends suffer miscarriages. I look at my sweet little baby girl, and I often feel that I'm being insensitive by sharing about my baby... a little guilty. I think back to the early weeks of my pregnancy when we had a very serious scare that sent me to the ER for several hours and at my doctor's office for 3 appointments the following week. Then, still, it was wait and see for the next month...
I found out I was pregnant late July...very early. I was 4 weeks along (2 from the whole time of conception... it's so strange how they time stamp these things). I was ecstatic! We had been trying for a couple of months, so to look down and see those two lines was a little surreal. It was finally the result I'd been waiting for. My husband and I decided to wait and tell our happy news until we were sure things were okay. Of course, I shared with my two closest friends and my sister (I was ecstatic, remember), but I didn't even want to tell my parents yet (as much as I love them, they are horrible secret keepers).
August 1... I started having some really bad pains in my stomach and then the bleeding started. I remember my throat felt like it was closing up. I looked at David with teary eyes and asked him what to do. It was a Sunday, so I called the on call midwife at my doctor's office and she met us at the hospital. They did an ultrasound and some other blood tests, but didn't offer me any comfort. They said it could be an ectopic pregnancy (meaning I was pregnant, but not in the right place, and they'd have to terminate the pregnancy because I nor the fetus could survive), early signs of a miscarriage, or a subchorionic hemorrhage (SCH- a bleed where the baby implanted itself... which they told me could have varied outcomes). I was told to take it easy and we'd wait and see.
During the week of more testing, I broke down and told my mom and dad. I needed my mommy! She went to the doctor's office for all the blood work with me and she was the first person who saw my baby's heartbeat (on ultrasound). We concluded that I had a SCH and that it was small enough it should heal on its own.
But wasn't until my 8 week check up that I was assured things would be okay, we had seen the heartbeat via ultrasound and heard it via doppler,..We had a BABY! :) The SCH had pretty much healed, and I was on my way to a completely normal pregnancy (until the end with all that BP mess!). I still didn't want to share my pregnancy news with anyone until well after the 12 week mark, but after my parents knew, the secret was pretty much out. I waited until our 19 week appointment when David and I saw our little GIRL on the 3-d ultrasound to share the news with the entire world (aka Facebook).
Now looking back, those few weeks, as stressful as they were, were just another thing to prepare me for motherhood. They also showed me how precious the gift of life is, and to truly be thankful for this miracle. However, for my friends who now have heavy hearts from their "what might of been.." I can't say I understand... I have my sweet little girl, but I know a fragment of the fear they faced and I can't imagine the burden laid on their hearts. It's easy for people who haven't been there to say "it's God's plan" or for doctors to say "this is natures way of dealing with an unhealthy pregnancy" but it's not their bodies. I don't doubt that either of these things are true, but it's still so much easier for someone else to say, because they are not having to deal with it. For each woman even, I think the loss, the emotions it brings, its magnitude is different. I am sure both of my friends will make awesome mothers one day. I'm sure they will be blessed with a beautiful family. But I realize that I can't feel what is going on in their shoes, and truthfully the best words I can offer them are "I'm so sorry," and "I'm praying for you."
I found out I was pregnant late July...very early. I was 4 weeks along (2 from the whole time of conception... it's so strange how they time stamp these things). I was ecstatic! We had been trying for a couple of months, so to look down and see those two lines was a little surreal. It was finally the result I'd been waiting for. My husband and I decided to wait and tell our happy news until we were sure things were okay. Of course, I shared with my two closest friends and my sister (I was ecstatic, remember), but I didn't even want to tell my parents yet (as much as I love them, they are horrible secret keepers).
August 1... I started having some really bad pains in my stomach and then the bleeding started. I remember my throat felt like it was closing up. I looked at David with teary eyes and asked him what to do. It was a Sunday, so I called the on call midwife at my doctor's office and she met us at the hospital. They did an ultrasound and some other blood tests, but didn't offer me any comfort. They said it could be an ectopic pregnancy (meaning I was pregnant, but not in the right place, and they'd have to terminate the pregnancy because I nor the fetus could survive), early signs of a miscarriage, or a subchorionic hemorrhage (SCH- a bleed where the baby implanted itself... which they told me could have varied outcomes). I was told to take it easy and we'd wait and see.
During the week of more testing, I broke down and told my mom and dad. I needed my mommy! She went to the doctor's office for all the blood work with me and she was the first person who saw my baby's heartbeat (on ultrasound). We concluded that I had a SCH and that it was small enough it should heal on its own.
But wasn't until my 8 week check up that I was assured things would be okay, we had seen the heartbeat via ultrasound and heard it via doppler,..We had a BABY! :) The SCH had pretty much healed, and I was on my way to a completely normal pregnancy (until the end with all that BP mess!). I still didn't want to share my pregnancy news with anyone until well after the 12 week mark, but after my parents knew, the secret was pretty much out. I waited until our 19 week appointment when David and I saw our little GIRL on the 3-d ultrasound to share the news with the entire world (aka Facebook).
Now looking back, those few weeks, as stressful as they were, were just another thing to prepare me for motherhood. They also showed me how precious the gift of life is, and to truly be thankful for this miracle. However, for my friends who now have heavy hearts from their "what might of been.." I can't say I understand... I have my sweet little girl, but I know a fragment of the fear they faced and I can't imagine the burden laid on their hearts. It's easy for people who haven't been there to say "it's God's plan" or for doctors to say "this is natures way of dealing with an unhealthy pregnancy" but it's not their bodies. I don't doubt that either of these things are true, but it's still so much easier for someone else to say, because they are not having to deal with it. For each woman even, I think the loss, the emotions it brings, its magnitude is different. I am sure both of my friends will make awesome mothers one day. I'm sure they will be blessed with a beautiful family. But I realize that I can't feel what is going on in their shoes, and truthfully the best words I can offer them are "I'm so sorry," and "I'm praying for you."
Friday, June 24, 2011
Amazing...
I've never been quite so infatuated with anything or anyone as I am with my baby's smile. I love this little person so much, and when she returns my sentiments with her big, broad, toothless smile, I melt. I have a feeling the word "no" isn't going to be easy for us to say in our household.
My husband is growing more and more fond of our little one too. Not that he wasn't before, but I won't lie, Reagan hasn't been exactly an easy baby. Unlike her brother, who must have been just a cake walk, Reagan is a needy little thing, and she lets you know (quite vocally) when she's unhappy. However, these days, all the princess wants is someone to socialize with. She wants to see your face and be able to grab you! She loves her gym and can play in it quite a while. She's growing up so much and I am enjoying my time with her more and more...and am a little nauseous thinking about leaving her!
What a blessing this little poop machine has been in our house. It's amazing to see the love my husband and I have for each other to come to life in a little person... absolutely amazing!
My husband is growing more and more fond of our little one too. Not that he wasn't before, but I won't lie, Reagan hasn't been exactly an easy baby. Unlike her brother, who must have been just a cake walk, Reagan is a needy little thing, and she lets you know (quite vocally) when she's unhappy. However, these days, all the princess wants is someone to socialize with. She wants to see your face and be able to grab you! She loves her gym and can play in it quite a while. She's growing up so much and I am enjoying my time with her more and more...and am a little nauseous thinking about leaving her!
What a blessing this little poop machine has been in our house. It's amazing to see the love my husband and I have for each other to come to life in a little person... absolutely amazing!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Playdates & Date Nights
We've been a little more adventurous lately. After our trip to school, I felt more capable of taking my sweet girl out. I don't like to have her out too much, because she does seem to get easily exhausted and cranky. I think I have a little homebody on my hands. Her big brother is very much one too.
Friday, we loaded up and went to visit my college roommate, Heather, who recently had a baby boy. I felt completely comfortable going to her house, because I knew she had all the baby items that we'd need without me packing the entire house. It was so nice for mommy to have adult conversation during the day! It is funny how much you miss that. Heather is such a fabulous mommy and it was good to share the fears and mishaps of being a new mother with someone else. Even though we don't live together anymore and don't talk on a daily basis, we are still a lot alike. We decided we must be sistas from different mistas :)
Saturday, my sister came up and we went out and bought Daddy's Father's Day gift. We went to Dick's, Golf Galaxy, got lunch at a Mexican restaurant, and the Babies 'R Us. It was a huge outing for the baby and mommy. She's been a little extra fussy today. I'm not sure it is in correlation to our big day yesterday or it is just a fussy day. I, however, needed a shopping day and it was fun having time with my sister.
Since Auntie was here, David and I took advantage of our in house sitter, and we went to dinner last night. I tried very hard to stay away from poopie diaper and spit up conversations. It was so nice to put on a dress, a real non-nursing bra, make up and wear my hair down! Since I won't indulge while nursing (and I would really love just one glass of wine!), I had a huge piece of key lime pie. Mommy certainly had deserved it. I even resisted calling my sister and checking in. We weren't gone too long, but it was just enough time to enjoy being a wife. You have to remember that balance between wife and mother or you'll go nuts!
Reagan loves her auntie. She slept a full 5 hours last night before waking up for her late night feeding. And was so sweet when I got her up. I am an incredibly blessed woman. I often have to take a step back because it seems like all this happened kind of fast. I met Reagan's daddy a little over 3 years ago. A year after that he proposed. We got married just 4 months after we got engaged. A week before our first anniversary we found out we were expecting. It's kind of a blur, but what an amazing, beautiful, fabulous life we have :-)
Friday, we loaded up and went to visit my college roommate, Heather, who recently had a baby boy. I felt completely comfortable going to her house, because I knew she had all the baby items that we'd need without me packing the entire house. It was so nice for mommy to have adult conversation during the day! It is funny how much you miss that. Heather is such a fabulous mommy and it was good to share the fears and mishaps of being a new mother with someone else. Even though we don't live together anymore and don't talk on a daily basis, we are still a lot alike. We decided we must be sistas from different mistas :)
Saturday, my sister came up and we went out and bought Daddy's Father's Day gift. We went to Dick's, Golf Galaxy, got lunch at a Mexican restaurant, and the Babies 'R Us. It was a huge outing for the baby and mommy. She's been a little extra fussy today. I'm not sure it is in correlation to our big day yesterday or it is just a fussy day. I, however, needed a shopping day and it was fun having time with my sister.
Since Auntie was here, David and I took advantage of our in house sitter, and we went to dinner last night. I tried very hard to stay away from poopie diaper and spit up conversations. It was so nice to put on a dress, a real non-nursing bra, make up and wear my hair down! Since I won't indulge while nursing (and I would really love just one glass of wine!), I had a huge piece of key lime pie. Mommy certainly had deserved it. I even resisted calling my sister and checking in. We weren't gone too long, but it was just enough time to enjoy being a wife. You have to remember that balance between wife and mother or you'll go nuts!
Reagan loves her auntie. She slept a full 5 hours last night before waking up for her late night feeding. And was so sweet when I got her up. I am an incredibly blessed woman. I often have to take a step back because it seems like all this happened kind of fast. I met Reagan's daddy a little over 3 years ago. A year after that he proposed. We got married just 4 months after we got engaged. A week before our first anniversary we found out we were expecting. It's kind of a blur, but what an amazing, beautiful, fabulous life we have :-)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)